


I never meant to cause you Trouble

by orphan_account



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: BECAUSE HE WANTED TO, Depression?, M/M, THIS IS AN AU IN WHICH HIRO WILL DIE, Unrequired Love, everything is sad, he is writing a letter to his brother, hiro is sad, its kind of depressing, maybe triggering? idk, therefore i am sad, this sure is short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 22:33:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5108048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>okay so the thing is: Hiro feels a way about Tadashi, and Tadashi doesn't know. Hiro hates himself and writes a letter.<br/>read it: it'll be worth it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I never meant to cause you Trouble

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic: it might be good but it might also be a little piece of shit: you're the ones that will decide that, i hope its the first one.

Dear brother,

You'll never read this, so i don't know why I'm even bothering to write it, although here i am, writing this little shit. The thing is that if you read this, that'll mean you found it, and you'll probably either be crying, or thinking "swear jar". But if you keep reading, then you'll finally know what's wrong with me, and the rest will be up to you; i don't know if i'll be able to see you reaction to this or if i'll be far gone, but either way, you'll finally know. I'm about to tell you the reason i hate myself so much, and you'll know why i didn't tell you all those times you asked. This little pen I'm writing with, can't stop shaking because of me, and i don't want it to stop in hopes that what I'm about to write won't be understandable, but with all the years you've known me, i know you'll be able to read everything. 

All this started a while ago. At first, i didn't know what this feeling was and just translated it into brotherly affection: but sooner or later i would be finding myself feeling something way more brotherly towards you, and scaring myself. After all, it wasn't natural was it? why the hell was i feeling this way about you?? I knew it was wrong. I know that i'm sick, and that what I'm feeling, is monstrous. Every time you'd hug me, i would try to save it in my memory because i knew that would be the last hug i'd receive from you if you ever found out, always cutting it short so that you didn't think anything about it. every time you looked at me, i would savour each second, because i knew that if you ever found out, you wouldn't be able to ever look at me again. i knew it and i know, and thats why I'm writing this; because i hope that when you finally read it, i won't be here, causing you any more worries or problems like i know i would if you ever found out. I'm writing this, because I'm tired; and i don't know if i'll be able to keep going with myself like this, and i don't know if i have enough willpower. but i know that if i take the next step, that'll mean i will never see you again, and that's why i'm still here. 

The reason i hate myself, is because i know you would hate me if you ever found out about what goes through my head. The reason i hate myself so much is because i know i deserve it. You're always telling me that there in no reason for me to hate myself, but that's because you don't know; you have no idea. The reason everytime you found me staring at the floor, with tears slipping down my face and you asked me what was wrong i would still tell you it was nothing, was because nothing outside of me was wrong; i was the only mistake in this family. I know that I'm just a burden to you, and that if you knew what's inside me, i'd be a bigger problem you had to go through everyday and, i don't want you to have to do that; so i'll just leave. There are plenty of ways for me to leave you alone, and the ones that have been passing my mind are the most definite ones, in which you'll know i'll be gone forever; in which you'll find whats left of me, dead. But i want you to know that i love you, and because of that, i must stay away from you.

Your dearest little brother,

Hiro

**Author's Note:**

> this is it. maybe you liked it, maybe you didn't. please tell me which one.


End file.
